Things I just don’t get

You know how when something strange, weird or perplexing happens, you just crook your head to one side & screw up your temple in the global pose that’s referred to as ‘the look of wonderment’. Yeah you know it. The ‘I just don’t get that’ look. Well, it got me thinking. What are those things, instances or circumstances that make me do said pose? Turns out, it’s quite a few things. And here are some of them:

* Why people ‘like’ their own posts of comments on FaceBook.

* Wearing socks with sandals? If it’s too cold, wear shoes.

* What’s the point of collots? Wear a skirt or shorts. Not too hard decision I would have thought.

* How people can’t tell the difference between Coke, Pepsi & all the diet, zero, Max versions of them.

* Why there are no personality tests (that you need to pass) for people that work in financial institutions, public service or for the medical profession.

* Why everyone you meet on a really hot day or really cold day reminds you of the temperature when you see them.

* Why everyone can’t just greet everyone by bowing to each other. It’s just much less complicated than handshaking & air kissing, especially in instances when one of you goes in for the wrong one & there is just awkwardness for the whole time you’re together. It can all be avoided with a simple bow.

* Why crap songs are the ones that stay in my head on ‘repeat’ or ‘loop’.

* Why the toilets aren’t closer to the movie theatres? You have to walk to far always that you’re guaranteed missing a chunk of the movie. Or you land up holding on & thinking about the bulging pain in your kidneys & bladder because you refuse to miss a second of the movie.

* Why most of the delicious foods have to be so bad for you.

* How you can’t feel a breeze when your bum crack is showing.

* How complete strangers know my kids in terms of their temperament, behaviours & preferences. These people are amazing – real oracles. They should all wear special capes.

* Why people are blind to parents with prams & small kids walking with a pram etc. I love having to juggle the pre-schoolers hand-holding & the pram all while trying to hold a door open or shuffle out of an elevator. And I especially love those people that barge into an elevator while you’re trying to get out.

* Why people asking the same questions expecting a different answer.

* When indicating to a loitering car in the car park, stalking you to your spot, that you’re not leaving, only to have them just stay & watch you load the car. The bonus is them getting angry at you for not leaving & going back into the shops.

* That you can have poppy seeds or spinach in your teeth & no one will tell you, but everyone’s quick to give you their opinion whether you’ve asked for it or not.

* Why people can’t decide on their choice of fast-food takeaway while standing in the queue, & staring at the massive reflecting signs of the meal options, before getting to the front of the line.

* People getting all bitter & twisted on Survivor. I’m pretty sure the motto is ‘outwit, outlast & outplay’.

* Why there are so many Fucktards in the world.

* Why people you pay to clean your home will NEVER clean it the way you would or see the same dust as you will ever see.

* Why people that say they have a headache don’t take any pain relief or drink water or do anything to alleviate the pain, but continue to complain they have a headache.

* Why I need to see proof of celebrities shedding the kilos after having a baby when they ALL have a nanny, a chef, a personal trainer & then another nanny just in case the other one gets sick.

* How Blu Tack works for like, ever.

* How I cry every.single episode of Grey’s Anatomy. Seriously?!

* Why as soon as I hit ‘post’ my brain will switch on & provide me with more things to add.

 


Comments

  1. suze says:

    Why the baby always screams all night when it’s my turn to get up to him?

  2. Funny! I especially like “How complete strangers know my kids in terms of their temperament, behaviours & preferences. These people are amazing – real oracles. They should all wear special capes.”

  3. Susan says:

    Why talking about how great the kids are sleeping ALWAYS jinxes me. Always.

  4. Jaime says:

    This is a great list, Yuz. Had me really thinking & laughing, too!

  5. Jenny says:

    This post made me chuckle. Thank you for making me laugh, love! xo

  6. Yael Saar says:

    loling…
    I love the bowing to each other idea. love it.
    I bow to you.

  7. Andrea says:

    Love this. :>

    This one is me, always: * Why crap songs are the ones that stay in my head on ‘repeat’ or ‘loop’.

    But then there are so many more. Especially the complete strangers knowing our kids and the capes. Ha! Truth!!

  8. Andrea says:

    Ha, this made me laugh. I like the facebook one & how you used the word Fucktards :)

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