Hi & welcome to my blog.
Allow me to tell you a little bit about myself. I’m a wife, mother, daughter, step daughter, sister-in law & step sister in law. I live in Melbourne Australia & I’m in my late 30’s. I have a degree in business administration with a major in Marketing & spent over 10 years in the advertising industry at various agencies in account management. I grew up in an (Jewish) Orthodox home & my father was a Rabbi of a large Synagogue in the South Eastern suburbs of Melbourne. He left the Synagogue after 24 years in 2007 & sadly my parents separated shortly afterwards after 39 years of marriage. I also miscarried that week.
My husband Seon & I met early 2006, were engaged NYE 2007 & married August that year. Seon’s a game developer & has his own company called 3Sprockets & spends each day being a code monkey in our converted garage which is his office. He is a truly wonderful & supportive husband & the most dedicated & proud father. I’m truly blessed.
We have two amazing children – Orli who will be eight this September & Flynn who just turned five. They were both born at 36 weeks & just over 2kgs. It’s been an intense journey getting to where I am today. I’m a survivor of PND/PPD which saw my admitted to a parent infant psych family (nuthouse) when Orli was eight weeks old & we spend the first year of her life in therapy & at weekly attendances at the nuthouse. We decided to have another baby & I ended up having a most complicated pregnancy where our baby had an 20% chance of survival as I had a bi-partite placenta, placenta previa & vasa previa. I gave birth to a seemingly healthy baby boy who presented a week & a half later with feeding issues & considered ‘failure to thrive’ (FTT). He was readmitted to hospital & we remained there for nine weeks where he was later diagnosed with Laryngomalacia (floppy airway at the level of the Larynx) which is most children grow out of by 12 months of age. Flynn still has grade two Laryngomalacia. He has struggled with swallowing up until the age of 3.5 where he had his tonsils & adenoids out & grommets in, which meant he no longer had sleep apnea (OSA) & this helped him swallow without choking/gagging each meal. We did SOS feeding therapy from 2.5 years for about eight months. At 3.5 years he was also diagnosed with Reflux (which seemed to have never left since being a baby) & has been on Losec (Omeprazole) since then (except for a two month break at the beginning of 2016) & his latest Gastroscopy (Feb 2016) & pathology confirmed he still has reflux. Flynn is still FTT in terms of weight but is kicking goals developmentally.
Life is complicated but it’s how you deal with the things thrown at you that determine your happiness & contentment. I’m working on being ok with being me, with being a good wife & being a good enough mother to our children. I am learning forgiveness, I am learning patience (it’s not an easy one), I am learning acceptance & I am learning the true meaning of the word ‘unconditional’. Sadly, (for some) I haven’t learnt to cook, nor do I ever intend to!
I consider myself a mother that has recovered PND/PPD whilst acknowledging that the experience has changed me forever. I no longer look over my shoulder thinking it will strike me again, as thankfully, I avoided the demon after having Flynn, however I will never be the same person I was prior to my postnatal/postpartum mood disorder (PMD) nearly four years ago. Depression & anxiety have been my friends throughout my life but I am working on managing them. I have named my conditions Patty & Selma – Patty is depression & Selma anxiety. One of my #PPDChat mamas inspired me to name these conditions as a way of both recognising & disarming them. And the #PPDChatArmy mamas have affectionally names their anxiety Velma, so Selma & Velma get fair airtime in the Twitterverse.
I have a few mantras that get me through each day & they are: ‘It’s not forever’, ‘It’s about progress’ & ‘I want to be a mother not a martyr’. And I truly believe that all mothers both endure & enjoy motherhood – you don’t have to have been admitted to the nuthouse to agree. As Oprah says, ‘it’s the hardest job on earth’ & as one of my closest friends told me just before I had Orli, ‘it’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do but the best thing you’ll ever do’.
I look forward to sharing my life’s journey & my perspectives on motherhood with you all – the ups, the downs, the highs, the lows & absolutely everything in between. And not just about wee.