The things I have learnt in my life. So far….

When I was a teenager & then again in my early twenties, I thought I knew everything about everything. Turns out I didn’t. Fast forward ahem, a few years, I’m reflecting on all the things I’ve done & the lessons learnt. And what’s more I know that the learning never stops. So without further ado, here are some things I’ve learnt over the past few years:

I’ve learnt that babies are not stupid just because they can’t talk. They tell you in their own way what they need.

I’ve learnt that my toddler has bipolar disorder & OCD (please know I am not downplaying the seriousness of these mental illnesses, but they are appropriate when explaining my toddlers behaviour).

I’ve learnt the true meaning of unconditional love.

I’ve learnt that when in a hurry a nappy will need to be changed, because babies don’t care for being on time & schedules.

I’ve learnt that you never stop growing up.

I’ve learnt that raising my voice at Orli does not help. At all. I’ve learnt this pisses me off.

I’ve learnt that even as a parent myself, what my parents think still impact some of my decisions.

I’ve learnt that chocolate doesn’t help, but that is also helps.

I’ve learnt that there is no shame in having a Pospartum (postnatal) mood disorder. I didn’t ask for it nor choose to have it.

I’ve learnt that if it’s not on Google it doesn’t exist.

I’ve learnt that you need to work on your marriage. Complacency is the number one reason that most couples split up.

I’ve learnt that patience doesn’t come easily to me.

I’ve learnt that having a nap is the new happy hour.

I’ve learnt that mutual respect is important in every relationship. If it’s not there, you may as well not be there either.

I’ve learnt that the words ‘I love you mummy’ makes my heart explode. Each & every time.

I’ve learnt that Cancer, mental illnesses etc do not discriminate.

I’ve learnt to use the word ‘regret’ instead of ‘guilty’ when talking about my PMD.

I’ve learnt that mess & clutter make me anxious.

I’ve learnt that writing for me is healing & cathartic. Thanks for allowing me to share my words with you all too.

I’ve learnt that forgiveness is bloody hard, but important for your soul & overall happiness.

I’ve learnt not to judge other parents. I don’t live with them, I don’t know the reasons for doing the things they do & it comes down to mutual respect.

I’ve learnt that the TV keeps my kids entertained & I’m more than ok with it.

I’ve learnt that you don’t need to have met people in real life to have long lasting & meaningful relationships.

I’ve learnt that it takes longer for others to learn.

I’ve learnt that my babies have never cared for the baby books saying what they ‘should’ be doing. They can’t read. They do what they want, when they want.

I’ve learnt when to take the higher moral ground.

I’ve learnt that cooking isn’t hard, it just requires time & motivation. I’m lacking in both.

I’ve learnt that self-care is imperative to your overall happiness & crucial to in order to be available to your kids. I need to learn how to do it.

I’ve learnt I learn something new every day.

I’ve learnt that you need to speak up when it comes to your kids health & happiness.

I’ve learnt how to go to the toilet without having kids in there with me. It’s not always successful.

I’ve learnt to enjoy the moment.

I’ve learnt that all families have their shit.

I’ve learnt that you need to be organised when you have kids.

I’ve learnt that NOTHING can prepare you for being a first time mum.

I’ve learnt that masks cover pain, it doesn’t get rid of it.

I’ve learnt that toddlers can frustrate the hell out of you.

I’ve learnt that friends are to be cherished.

I’ve learnt that no one can clean our home as well as me.

I’ve learnt to give myself permission for having a bad day & not to feel guilty about it.

I’ve learnt never to take kindness for granted.

I’ve learnt that it takes a long time to heal.

I’ve learnt that I’ll never stop learning.

 

What have you learnt?

Welcome to our home

The first thing you’ll see as you enter our home is our house rules. Literally, as they’re stuck to the wall as you enter.

I loved it as soon as I saw it & following Seon’s agreement it was bought & delivered within a few days. We had been looking for something to go on our wall as you enter our home for years. I wasn’t sure about a painting & we never saw one we loved & had to have, so the wall remained blank & the search for something to go there halted. Until I saw this.

Each line means something to me. Each line is important. The rules are short but have so much meaning. It goes to show you that you don’t need a lot of words in order for the message to be understood. And also, that you don’t need a lot of words to get your message though or your point across!

The house rules are not written specifically to anyone, but to everyone – whether you live here or not. It is relevant to Seon, me, Orli & one day Flynn too (although he can do with the no ‘whining rule’ at times). If you don’t live here you can still follow the rules. When you’re a visitor in our home feel free to follow the rules, & if you want, take some of these rules with you.

As I continue my journey of self-discovery, embracing & sometimes – & let’s be honest – enduring motherhood, these little rules remind me what kind of person & mother I would like to be. It reminds me of the values I wish to instill into our children. It reminds me to uphold these rules so that our children see them in action. It reminds me to be a good example to our children. It reminds me to be a good wife. It reminds me to be a good person.

Each time I step into our home I am greeted by these messages & I love that I am constantly reminded of these values & messages.

The last line sums it up for me – in this house we strive for respect, love, sharing, caring, but hell knows it’s not always sustainable, manageable or possible. After all, we’re only human!